你夢過房子的夢嗎？

Have you ever had dreams about houses?

 

我夢了一個房子的夢

I have.

 

不知道是我夢房子

But I wasn’t sure whether I dreamt of them,

 

還是房子夢我

or they dreamt of me.

 

在夢裡我是熟睡的

I was dead asleep in the dream.

 

我眼睛閉著

But I started feeling the window shake from afar 

 

卻感覺遠方的窗戶傳來震動

with my eyes close. 

 

（地震！）

 (It’s an Earthquake!)

 

第一時間我以為是地震

I thought it was an earthquake at first.

 

我跳了起來衝出房門

I bounced up and stormed out of the room, 

 

一直叫著爸爸 叫媽媽

calling for Mom and Dad.

 

但都沒有人回

No answer whatsoever.

 

接著我聽見一股水流的聲音

Then, I started to hear the sound of water flowing,

 

像是海邊的浪沖上岸的聲音

Then, I started to hear the sound of water flowing,

reminding me of the waves on the beach.

 

然後我看見水從牆壁和地面的空隙流出來

Water then started to make its way into the house through walls and floors.

 

整個房子都在震動

The whole house was quaking.

 

一邊震動一邊滲出水來

Quaking and seeping.

 

我不知道該往屋頂逃

No idea whether I should run for the rooftop,

 

還是該往一樓

or for the ground.

 

從二樓的窗戶往下望

Stuck my head out from the first floor and looked down.

 

才發現一樓都積滿了水

The ground floor was terribly flooded.

 

接著空氣變得濕熱

Then, the air became humid and hot.

 

水一點一點蒸發

The water slowly evaporated.

 

變成水氣升起

And then steamed up.

 

轉眼間水氣變成了霧

Then turned into a fog. 

 

變成了濃密的、幾乎看不見四周的水的牆壁

A thick, opaque fog wall that is almost impossible to see through.

 

然後一點一點往上凝聚

The fog then congregated above.

 

穿過天花板

Through the ceiling.

 

穿過樓梯

Through the stairs.

 

滯留在屋頂的內側

They continued to gather up

 

像是有生命一樣

as if they were alive 

at the ceiling,

 

他們彼此靠近

直到密集成一團白色的團塊

until finally condensed into a chunk of a white lump.

 

團塊不斷流動

The lump kept flowing,

 

不斷變化

and kept transforming.

 

然後產生直角、產生塊和面

The angles, masses and surfaces were then created.

 

產生四方形、圓形和凹陷與突起

Along with the squares, rounds, holes, and bumps.

 

慢慢的

Slowly,

 

屋頂上長出了倒著的、新的傢俱

a set of new, upside-down furniture emerged from the ceiling.

 

新的牆壁

With new walls

 

新的窗戶

and new windows.

 

還有一個站在窗邊

And also a new me standing by the window

 

與我四目相對的我

that stared right into my eyes.

 

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

 

阿嬤的喪禮上，大家都回來了

Everyone’s gathered back up at Grandma’s funeral.

 

大姑姑一家

First auntie’s family.

 

二姑姑一家

Second auntie’s.

 

小姑姑一家

Third auntie’s.

 

叔叔一家

The uncle’s.

 

我們家

Mine.

 

還有我已經不認得的

And those I’ve forgotten,

 

或根本沒能認得的人

or were impossible to be identified.

 

我們靠在一起

We sat down 

 

在被安排好的座位上

at where we were assigned to,

 

閉起眼睛

and closed our eyes.

 

法師說

The mage said

 

請跟著我默念

“Please repeat the incantations after me in silence.”

 

和我一起

“Please read with me.”

 

我們越多人唸

“The more we read them,

 

就能讓阿嬤更順利抵達極樂世界

the smoother Grandma arrives the Sukhāvatī(1).”

 

我們跟著唸

We repeated after the mage

 

聽不懂也唸

even barely had an idea of what those incantations meant.

 

照著聲音的形狀

So we just read them straight out

 

唸出類似的聲響

with a mimicked sound.

 

嗡嗡嗡

(Babbling)

 

嗡嗡嗡

(Babbling)

 

 

閉著眼睛唸著

I read with my eyes closed.

 

在一片微弱光影竄流的黑暗裡

Even a whisper would sound like a clap of thunder 

 

聲音變得異常巨大

in the darkness where only glimmers flowed.

 

像是一股從身體裡發出的轟鳴

The voices in the room sounded like a roar emanating from within.

 

高的轟鳴

The high-pitch roars.

 

低的轟鳴

The low-pitch roars.

 

大的轟鳴

The loud roars.

 

小的轟鳴

The quiet roars.

 

轟鳴們聚集在一起

The roars gathered up.

 

我們聚在一起

We gathered up.

 

我們緊縮在一起

We cuddled up.

 

然後

And then

 

 

 

一句飄乎乎的聲音竄進轟鳴裡

another layer of voice slid into the roar.

 

那是阿公的聲音

It’s from Grandpa.

 

大家偷偷張開眼

We opened our eyes in secret.

 

只見阿公閉著眼睛

He was reciting

 

唸唱自己的句子

with eyes still shut.

 

聽起來和我們很像的句子

His recitation sounded similar to ours

 

只是不在大家的拍子上

but was far off for tempos

 

不在大家的音準上

and notes.

 

大家偷笑

Everyone giggled in secret,

 

轟鳴就在大家嘻笑的瞬間鬆散了

The roar loosened when everyone giggled.

 

而阿公那不知何來的句子持續地演唱著

Grandpa was still humming his verse.

 

緊

Tightened.

 

鬆

L o o s e n e d.

 

緊

Tightened.

 

鬆

L  o   o   s   e   n   e   d.

 

 

 

轟鳴鬆開的那一刻

Then I felt a sense of distance

 

我突然感覺自己變得遙遠

at the very moment when the roar loosened.

 

用一種第三人稱的視角

Seeing the room and the people

 

看見這幅景象

with a third-person perception.

 

我不記得那天究竟唸誦了什麼

I don’t remember anything read on that day

 

只記得那因為走調的唸唱而鬆弛的那一刻

but the moment when the roar all loosened due to Grandpa’s funky recitation.

 

那一刻

That very moment.

 

 

 

 

家裏以前是什麼樣子？

What does the house used to look like?

 

家裏以前是鉛筆工廠

It was a pencil manufactory

 

有養雞養豬

with chickens and pigs in it.

 

有溜冰場

And a ski field as well.

 

還有游泳池

And a swimming pool.

 

 

游泳池？

A swimming pool?

 

 

對啊泳池，有賺錢的那種。

Correct. A swimming pool for commercial use.

 

 

那泳池是什麼樣子？

What did it look like?

 

我問爸爸，只見爸爸拿起筆，開始在墊便當的廣告紙背面畫畫

I asked Dad. He then picked up a pen and started to make a drawing for it.

 

畫了一個框

First, a frame has been drawn.

 

一個代表家的框

A frame that represents the home.

 

然後又畫上

Then

 

直線

a vertical line

 

橫線

followed by a horizontal line.

 

直線與橫線一直延伸

The lines kept going further out

 

超過了我預想的家的界線

expanding the boundaries of the home that I was told.

 

如果以今天的家來看的話

To map it out on the current house setting

 

是游泳池的地方

The swimming pool would cover the areas that include

 

涵蓋了飯廳

the dining room

 

客廳

the living room

 

廚房

the kitchen

 

陶藝工作室

the clay studio

 

窯燒場

the kilning area

 

木作區

the woodwork area

 

然後跨越了鐵皮的牆

then goes all the way further out

 

往外延伸出去

beyond the galvanised steel wall.

 

那是一個狹長的方形

The long and narrow square shape

 

幾乎把整個家都框了起來

almost perfectly covers the house symbol.

 

爸爸說現在泳池就在房子底下

According to Dad, the pool is just right under the house.

 

也許還有一些東西留在裡面

There may still be things left underground.

 

 

 

泳池是什麼樣子？

What did the pool look like?

 

我問大姑姑，只見大姑姑猶豫許久，才說了自己不太有印象，那時候正值讀書的年紀，游泳池的事她少參與

I asked First Aunt. She pondered briefly and said the memories were vague, as she was only a high school student.

 

只是她記得某一天傍晚在泳池旁讀書

But she remembered the late evening when she was reading by the pool.

 

秋天的傍晚太冷不會有人

She was the only one around, as it was too chilly to read in an evening of fall.

 

於是她在游泳池旁一邊走一邊背誦古詩

So she walked along the pool while reciting the ancient verses from school.

 

游泳池上沒有屋頂

The pool was roofless.

 

和天空沒有隔絕

Nothing was in the way between the sky and the pool.

 

於是夕陽的顏色就複製在泳池上

So the water was magnificently dyed with golden yellow and fiery red.

 

飛過的鳥也在泳池上

The passing birds could be found on the water surface as well.

 

她一邊背誦古詩

She kept working on the recitation homework 

 

一邊看著泳池變成黑夜的顏色

while seeing the deepening shade of black slowly creep into the pool.

 

 

 

泳池是什麼樣子？

What did the pool look like?

 

我問二姑姑，她一邊露出興奮的神情，一邊露出擔憂的神情

I asked Second Aunt. She seemed excited and worried at the same time about the question.

 

她說

She said

 

我和你爸最常下去玩

Your Dad and I were the lifeguards for the pool back then,

 

我們兩個都是救生員

so we spent quite a lot of time down there.

 

也負責撿掉進泳池裡的金錶銀錶

Sometimes we came across expensive lost watches in the pool.

 

沒有人認領的時候就歸自己

We can keep them if no one comes to claim them back.

 

有時候會有舞廳的女郎來

There were occasions 

​

有大哥來

when the nightclub hostesses 

 

他們就喜歡指使我們

and the gangsters 

 

要我們幫忙這

came in 

 

幫忙那

and sent us on errands.

 

夏天的時候人最多

On busy days like summer,

 

小孩子貪玩又不懂游泳

accidents with kids being drowned happened from time to time.

 

他們不知道游泳池有深淺

Because the naughty youngsters had no idea how deep the water was,

 

不小心就到了會淹沒他們的地方

and they hadn’t learned how to swim.

 

二姑姑聳聳肩 繼續說

Second Aunt shrugged and said

 

那天我在我房間

I heard a voice calling for help 

 

突然感覺到有什麼聲音在跟我說救命

when I was in my room on the day.

 

 

救命

Help.

 

救我

Help me.

 

 

一開始以為是幻聽

I thought it was just paracusis or something else

 

直到我發現我的頭皮發麻

until I got goosebumps all over my body.

 

然後聲音越來越清楚

The voice was getting louder.

 

我才衝到游泳池旁邊看

So I rushed to the pool,

 

一個偷跑進來玩的小孩在裡面

finding a kid who managed to sneak in from outside drowning.

 

還好他穿著亮橘色的衣服

Thank god he was in a bright orange shirt,

 

我就趕快衝下去救

so I jumped right into the pool. 

 

幸好沒事

He’s okay.

 

幸好沒事

I’m glad he’s okay.

 

 

 

泳池是什麼樣子？

What did the pool look like?

 

我問小姑姑 

I asked Third Aunt.

 

她說她那時候年紀小 不會游泳

She said she was too young to swim back then.

 

比較常在岸邊幫忙賣克林姆和紅豆麵包

So she often got sent to peddle custard red bean bun at the poolside.

 

她記得那時候學校下課結束

As she recalled, her friends were always excited 

 

朋友都說我要去你家的游泳池

about going to ‘her pool’ after school.

 

她就說那是我家 不是我家的游泳池

She then corrected that it was not ‘her pool’ but ‘her home’.

​

朋友說不都一樣？

But her friends always didn’t get it.

 

 

她也記得冬天的時候

Furthermore,

 

沒有人來的泳池就會把水流掉，流掉水的泳池底部有厚厚一層苔蘚

they’d drain the water out when the pool was quiet. And you could find an abundance of mosses on the pool floor.

 

如果冬天正值有雨的日子

Therefore if the rain ponded in the empty pool, they would get mossy

​

雨水積起來的小池就會是綠色的

during the winter rainy season.

​

還有從水管偷溜進來的魚

Don’t forget those fishes that sneaked into the pool through the pipes.

 

泳池裡開始長出新的東西

New tribes were emerging in the pool.

 

 

 

泳池是什麼樣子？

What did the pool look like?

 

我問小叔叔

I asked the uncle.

 

他說他年紀太小，什麼都沒記住

He said he was too young, so nothing really registered in his mind.

 

 

 

 

 

泳池是什麼樣子？

What did the pool look like?

 

 

 

我問阿公

I asked Grandpa.

 

他說是綠色的，好像還有白色的

He remembered there were greens, maybe some whites as well.

 

不、是藍色的

Nope. there were blues.

 

阿公操著一口海口腔

Grandpa answered slowly in Taiwanese

 

用台語慢慢說

with an Hai-Khau accent.

 

那時候我跟你阿嬤都要晚上去刷泳池

Your Grandma and I would go clean the pool.

 

把苔蘚刷掉

Scrubbing the moss off.

 

一個晚上刷一整大個

Spending the whole night just to clean a bare bit.

 

然後

Then

 

然後記得有個晚上

Then there was a night.

 

我跟你阿嬤一邊刷洗一邊抱怨

We were cleaning with reluctance, as usual.

 

忽然發現剛刷好的地方

And we found out there was a glowy reflection 

 

有一顆圓圓的亮亮的倒影

at the spot that we just scrubbed.

 

抬頭一看

We looked up,

 

才知道今晚有滿月

realising it was a full moon night.

 

我們就坐在還沒有刷乾淨的泳池裡

We then sat in the half-cleaned pool

 

看了五分鐘

for five minutes for the moon.

 

 

.

.

.

.

.

.

你夢過房子的夢嗎？

Have you ever had dreams about houses?

 

我夢了一個房子的夢

I have.

 

不知道是我夢房子

But I’m not sure whether I dreamt of them,

 

還是房子夢我

or they dreamt of me.

 

在所有水氣凝結起來的屋頂上

On the roof where all the steams gathered,

 

我的視線也跟著轉移

my eyesight started to rotate,

 

和霧氣做成的傢俱一樣

and then the whole body followed, ending up upside down, 

 

腳上頭下

just like how those pieces of furniture made out of fog stood.

 

倒著遠觀一樓積蓄的水氣

Looking at the steams on the ground floor from above.

 

一樓的水氣已經凝結成一塊浮凸的水池

The steams had then clotted into a pond.

 

而上面開滿了蓮花

There were lotuses in the pond.

 

蓮花有白色、紫色、粉色、黃色

I saw the flowers in white, violet, pink, and yellow,

 

蓮葉有藍色、綠色、黑色、土色

and the leaves in azure, green, black, and copper.

 

水池被這些顏色佔據

The pond was packed with colours. 

 

隨著水的波動

Each colour made room for itself through the water, 

 

在不會彼此混雜的顏色裡成為新的色彩

intertwined without blending.

 

一位女子走進了我的視線

A woman in red

 

她身穿一身的紅

made her presence in my sight.

 

走進了水的顏色裡

As she walked into the colours,

 

水的顏色

the water was then 

 

被紅色佔據

dyed red.

 

形成一種清透又濃郁的紅色

A red that was textured of both transparent and creamy.

 

女子像是走在樓梯上一樣緩緩下沉

The woman slowly submerged in the water, step by step.

 

每下沉一步

The water and the lotuses 

 

水也退去一步

followed the submergence like a tide

 

蓮花也退去一步

at her pace.

 

水跟著女子的腳步

Soon, the water and the woman

 

以女子為中心

disappeared into the floor

 

和她一起走進一樓的地面

together. 

 

 

轟隆隆

Whoosh…

 

轟隆隆

Whoosh…

 

 

水的聲音流進了更深的底層

在迴盪的水聲中

The water made its way down to the deep.

 

霧氣做的傢俱也凝結成可以下落的雨滴

The fog furniture solidified into rain drips,

 

轟隆隆地下在房子裡的每一處

and became a heavy downpour on every inch of the house.

 

 

 

 

 

(1) Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.